Speaking Life vs. Liking a Status
My mind has been captivated by the idea of social media recently. The idea of how amazing it is to be able to keep in touch with people you do not always have the capability of seeing, across the country, or in other ones! It keeps us connected, and it is fabulous. However, it’s been burning a huge hole. In my time, in my relationships, in my thoughts, in my daily life. What do I mean? I’m not someone who considers myself a social media queen. I love pictures, and I love knowing how my friends and family in other places are, but I did find myself checking my phone day in and day out.
Ever since graduating college in December I moved home to save myself some money before returning to a new school in the fall for my Master’s. I have had so much free time. Time to work, A LOT. Time to spend with my family, get away for a weekend to visit with my friends still back at school, time to volunteer in the nursery at church, attend a women’s bible study, and time to just do nothing. It’s those times of doing nothing however that made me realize how much social media just bugs me. I spend way too much time worrying about likes, checking my phone, and looking at nothing but time sucking videos, and people complaining online. Then there is all the cutesy pictures that make you wish you were that cute too. Whether it is clothes, captions, relationships, or #____goals of any kind. #couplegoal #friendgoals #foodgoals (YOU GET IT RIGHT?)
In the past, I’ve scolded my boyfriend for not liking things, or commenting on them, or never posting about me. I mean doesn’t he love me like those guys love their girlfriends?? HA. What I didn’t stop to realize though, is he comments on me in real life. He likes me in real time. And he loves me EVERYDAY off the screen, and it is okay! Actually it is more than okay because my confidence in our relationship has now changed from being concerned about how everyone else sees it, to how I see it in everyday life. The other part I noticed is that, I tell him things I am feeling good, bad, happy, mad, sad, in real life, to his face. We talk, argue, work it out, real people things. We have real conversations, we don’t just have the relationship we have because we “like” the things each of us post online. So why should this be any different with everyone else in my life too??? The people in my life that have birthdays, or are going through things, I should be reminding them how much I care, and support them IN REAL LIFE TOO!
This wasn’t really as obvious to me as I wish it had been. If someone is having a birthday and Facebook has to remind me about it, I probably really either don’t care enough, or I really haven’t been taking the time to pay attention. I have pulled the excuses about not being good at remembering, or that I just am busy and forgot, but I wasn’t to busy to use Facebook once it reminded me? Or to tweet about them, Snapchat about them, and Insta post a huge picstitch about them (which takes a solid 5-10 minutes to make let’s be real). My point is, what if we used those 5-10 minutes to talk to them, see how they are, call them! That if for someone who means enough to you to make a post, what if you spent the time speaking that post to them. What if you told your mom all the lovely things you wrote out on Mother’s Day. What if you spoke life into that relationship and didn’t just type it. If y’all already are masters at this and relationships are perfect, then just click away now, this is not for y’all! But for those people that have moved away from what it means to “like” your friends in real life, it is not too late!!
My challenge to myself is to say the things you would put in a post, to the people you love. To say those things to them, to get off Facebook, and to spend quality REAL LIFE TIMMMEEEEE with them. Sweet, sweet time! Start realizing if your life is not the same as it would look on social media, that maybe you should take time off the screen to make that not true. To make those gushing lovely things we post, actual reminders to the people we love in our everyday lives. The words we speak over our friends, family, and significant people in our lives, are far more important than anything we could ever post on social media.
Now y’all, I’m not saying all of this to say that Facebook is bad, or wrong, or that we shouldn’t use Instagram or Snapchat or Twitter. I am just saying that we should be talking and interacting with people we care about instead of writing a sappy post about them a couple times a year. It has changed my relationship with my boyfriend big time coming to that realization, and it has changed the way I talk to my friends, and family. (Note: Something I am still very much working on).
I still love pictures and good ones at that, and I love to share things that are happening in my life (take note the adorable picture of me and my man attached). But, I also like for my private life to stay that way, or my mushy feelings to be said to people’s faces. It isn’t that I am perfect in doing so, it is something I am working on today, and everyday. I hope these realizations might mean something to someone else struggling too. That speaking life to those around you, could better your relationships with the people you love.
“So Speak life, speak life
To the deadest darkest night
Speak life, speak life
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why
Look into the eyes or the broken hearted
Watch them come alive as you speak hope
You speak love, you speak life”
-Speak Life by Toby Mac-